After 19 years of knowing my husband, I'm still learning. That's the wonder of marriage. Long story short, I've had a bit of a black cloud over my head in the work arena. Just a lot of weird situations. Anyhooo...I was telling my husband about two precarious situations - one at work and one via blogging - the other day and he just shut down. It was odd...but then again, we both tune out when we're thinking or multi-tasking. I continued talking and I noticed he was visibly staring in the opposite direction. I got upset. Pay attention to me!
What did I do? I snapped. I questioned him. What he said was a complete revelation and learning to me... "I just don't like confrontation. When you describe these situations to me...it makes my stomach hurt. Like...I physically get queasy."
I sat back and just thought for a minute. What's the big deal? I deal with this crap every day. In fact, if a day goes by without confrontation...I might shout from the rooftops.
Let me clarify. I'm not a jerk. Well, I try not to be but the reality is...confrontation has never scared me. I'd much rather deal with a situation and serve up a heavy dose of brutal honesty then to go to bed mulling over pointless crap, frankly. Turns out the rest of the world doesn't feel the same way.
Here I am...married to the same guy for five years and I learned something totally novel. Confrontation makes people REALLY uncomfortable. So, today, I'm going to tell you how I deal with confrontation or at least some catch phrases that will help ease you into getting more comfortable with confrontation.
And don't ever use..."It's not you, it's me."
- "I really love your vision, however; I don't have the bandwidth to take that project on right now."
- "I hear what you're saying. I do. I just can't commit to that right now."
- "I don't think I can take that on with 100% authenticity. Thank you for the offer."
- "I've been thinking about our conversation and I have to tell you, I'm upset. I don't agree with your point of view."
- "I'm upset and you should know."
- "I don't agree but I appreciate your opinion...here's why..."
- "I can't agree to those terms, the labor and resources required are immense."
- "I can't take this project on but I'd love to share some peer referrals that could knock this out of the park."
- "I can't take on the full scope of this project for that price."
- "It left me uncomfortable when you..."
- "I'll have to sleep on it and get back to you."
- "Why do you feel that way? I want to understand your point of view."
- "I really adore our friendship. Lately, your actions have been making me feel..."
- "I can't participate in this conversation. I really don't know him/her."
- "I'm not ready to talk about this now but I do want to clear the air with you."
No matter what, confrontation isn't fun but it doesn't have to be horrible. Honesty is always appreciated by both parties. Let's all work on getting a full night's sleep a lot more frequently!
Happy Friday Fearless Females!
Photography by: Jordan Heidenwith
Hi! Happy Friday! Although somewhat risky, I thought we'd do a little exercise today! For the first time in eight years I want to open up the floor and answer all of your burning questions. I've never done this before but I thought it could be a fun way to connect as a community and I've seen so many influencers do the same. It really changed my perspective on the individual behind the brand. So...what do you think?
Sometimes I wish Lisa had permanent residency in my home. On those challenging days when nothing seems to be going right, I would take solace in the fact that Lisa would have a mean cocktail waiting for me as soon as the clock turned happy hour. This girl knows how to whip up a strong drink and not just one...but an entire collection of craft cocktails!
I just returned from another Mexican adventure. Let me start with the simple fact that Mexico is always a good idea. Always. Two back to back trips further cemented my love for this country. That said, with any travel comes tiny moments of clarity. Some are welcome and some are just a drag to face. So let's start with the good stuff...
If you want the cut and dry of why the tech community loves Katy Lynch, see answer #10. Actually, that's why I love her, too.
I met Katy a little over a year ago and I was instantly inspired by her genuine support for my agency and her bubbly demeanor.
Everyday was a surprise in Guadalajara. And I mean that in every sense of the word. We'd wake up to beautiful breakfasts and come home to thoughtful gifts. It was unreal. Day 2 was just what the doctor ordered. Our itinerary included breakfast at Café Barra Café followed by a short trek to the landmark spa and boutique hotel, Hacienda El Carmen.
Bit my bit, and surely through my social media, I'm sure you are aware of the amazing trip I just returned from. A select few Chicago influencers were invited to travel to Guadalajara, Mexico to experience the vibrant culture, art, music, cuisine and so much more that this magical city has to offer. And it was magic!
If you're just starting to think about your bikini bod for summer...it's time to get a move on! Girl - it's June! While achieving optimum health isn't an overnight sensation, my friend Michelle Amore is THE rockstar of the Chicago fitness landscape. Rock hard abs backed by science...yes, she has them but she can help you achieve them, too!
You know those days when you can't find a thing to wear in your closet. *raises hand...today!* Well, there isn't an app for that (or is there?) but there is a magical, unicorn of a human being who can certainly help and her name is Katie Schuppler! With over seven years in the business, she is the human version of a fashion app. She can pull accessories at the drop of a hat and purge your closet even faster. She's your go-to fashionista in a pinch and she's been werkin' the scene since inception.
Familiar with BaubleBar? Who isn't right? Ever wonder what it was like to launch and how it all began? *raises hand* I always find these stories fascinating and today my friend Nina - the VP of Brand Marketing and also one of the original crew, is here to share the scoop on a day in the life of this accessory giant and what lies ahead. Take a seat...you're in for a sparkly treat!
The best things in life are free. Laughter being one of them - most underrated gift anyone could give you. And, it just so happens that today's Fearless Friday feature, Janet, makes me laugh constantly. I've traveled with her, soon again, I've cocktailed with her, I've had long talks with her...shoot, the only thing we haven't done is work out but we've even talked about that, too! I will tell you, Janet cares and she is very much supportive of her girls. I've observed over the years. Even with everything she is balancing...motherhood, marriage, career, blogging, philanthropy ...she always makes time for her friends. And, she will always make you laugh. That is the best trait in a friend - better than 100 lattes or 1M pairs of Gucci heels. And well heeled, she is!