After 19 years of knowing my husband, I'm still learning. That's the wonder of marriage. Long story short, I've had a bit of a black cloud over my head in the work arena. Just a lot of weird situations. Anyhooo...I was telling my husband about two precarious situations - one at work and one via blogging - the other day and he just shut down. It was odd...but then again, we both tune out when we're thinking or multi-tasking. I continued talking and I noticed he was visibly staring in the opposite direction. I got upset. Pay attention to me!
What did I do? I snapped. I questioned him. What he said was a complete revelation and learning to me... "I just don't like confrontation. When you describe these situations to me...it makes my stomach hurt. Like...I physically get queasy."
I sat back and just thought for a minute. What's the big deal? I deal with this crap every day. In fact, if a day goes by without confrontation...I might shout from the rooftops.
Let me clarify. I'm not a jerk. Well, I try not to be but the reality is...confrontation has never scared me. I'd much rather deal with a situation and serve up a heavy dose of brutal honesty then to go to bed mulling over pointless crap, frankly. Turns out the rest of the world doesn't feel the same way.
Here I am...married to the same guy for five years and I learned something totally novel. Confrontation makes people REALLY uncomfortable. So, today, I'm going to tell you how I deal with confrontation or at least some catch phrases that will help ease you into getting more comfortable with confrontation.
And don't ever use..."It's not you, it's me."
- "I really love your vision, however; I don't have the bandwidth to take that project on right now."
- "I hear what you're saying. I do. I just can't commit to that right now."
- "I don't think I can take that on with 100% authenticity. Thank you for the offer."
- "I've been thinking about our conversation and I have to tell you, I'm upset. I don't agree with your point of view."
- "I'm upset and you should know."
- "I don't agree but I appreciate your opinion...here's why..."
- "I can't agree to those terms, the labor and resources required are immense."
- "I can't take this project on but I'd love to share some peer referrals that could knock this out of the park."
- "I can't take on the full scope of this project for that price."
- "It left me uncomfortable when you..."
- "I'll have to sleep on it and get back to you."
- "Why do you feel that way? I want to understand your point of view."
- "I really adore our friendship. Lately, your actions have been making me feel..."
- "I can't participate in this conversation. I really don't know him/her."
- "I'm not ready to talk about this now but I do want to clear the air with you."
No matter what, confrontation isn't fun but it doesn't have to be horrible. Honesty is always appreciated by both parties. Let's all work on getting a full night's sleep a lot more frequently!
Happy Friday Fearless Females!
Photography by: Jordan Heidenwith
Today I do not feel like I want to post about fashion. Today is one of those Truth Tuesday posts. I've been reflecting quite a bit about all the change 2017 has brought. Some of it has been pretty fabulous while others have been quite stressful. With only two months to go, I can safely say that 2017 was not one of my favorite years and the word on the street is that many people feel the same. 2017 was a year of change.
And 2018...if you're listening...you better bring it!
I've saved this photo for a year. Can you believe it? One of my very talented friends who happens to shoot on the regular for my company shot it when I wasn't paying attention...on a Halloween shoot, natch.
It's always fun to look back on the last 30 days and review life as we know it. Fall is such a busy time of year. It usually leaves me breathless but in the best way. It's been so long since I've done one of these that I felt today appropriate. I've had a bit of a black cloud over my head as of late but TODAY the sun is shining and it's Friday!
Like every day, you can always come to 101 things I love to support your shopping habit. Old habits die hard. <wink, wink> I will say this though...I will always find you a good deal and I am well researched. That's a promise! I am sure my husband is gritting his teeth reading this.
I posted a blog last week on shopping. It wasn't ground breaking and I've shared this type of content many-a-time before. Once in awhile a reader will comment on a particular item they, too are fawning over. It's just fun, superfluous content. The interesting thing about this post is that it really rubbed one reader the wrong way. I mentioned it extensively on my IG stories but in case you missed it...here's what my friend, "Laney" had to say...
Hi! Happy Friday! Although somewhat risky, I thought we'd do a little exercise today! For the first time in eight years I want to open up the floor and answer all of your burning questions. I've never done this before but I thought it could be a fun way to connect as a community and I've seen so many influencers do the same. It really changed my perspective on the individual behind the brand. So...what do you think?
Sometimes I wish Lisa had permanent residency in my home. On those challenging days when nothing seems to be going right, I would take solace in the fact that Lisa would have a mean cocktail waiting for me as soon as the clock turned happy hour. This girl knows how to whip up a strong drink and not just one...but an entire collection of craft cocktails!
I just returned from another Mexican adventure. Let me start with the simple fact that Mexico is always a good idea. Always. Two back to back trips further cemented my love for this country. That said, with any travel comes tiny moments of clarity. Some are welcome and some are just a drag to face. So let's start with the good stuff...
If you want the cut and dry of why the tech community loves Katy Lynch, see answer #10. Actually, that's why I love her, too.
I met Katy a little over a year ago and I was instantly inspired by her genuine support for my agency and her bubbly demeanor.
Everyday was a surprise in Guadalajara. And I mean that in every sense of the word. We'd wake up to beautiful breakfasts and come home to thoughtful gifts. It was unreal. Day 2 was just what the doctor ordered. Our itinerary included breakfast at Café Barra Café followed by a short trek to the landmark spa and boutique hotel, Hacienda El Carmen.